Lemons Tell No Lies

A surreal psychological novella narrated irresponsibly by Gary the interdimensional sentient lemon cheesecake.

Lemons Tell No Lies title artwork featuring Gary the Lemon Cheesecake

Professional investigator. Devastated father. Citric witness.

Marty Fletcher is good at spotting fraud. When his wife leaves and takes their daughter, his gift for patterns mutates beneath grief, paranoia and psychosis. Lemons become clues. Bananas become guns. A fridge called Frank becomes his closest confidant.

Then there is Gary: a lemon cheesecake who will not talk, will not crack and may or may not be an interdimensional entity narrating the entire disaster for his own amusement.

First edition 2025
ISBN: 9798275489330

View the book on Amazon UK

Gary’s prologue

Reality has already become negotiable.

Gary introduces himself as an interdimensional sentient lemon cheesecake and immediately questions whether Marty is brilliant, barmy or simply underqualified for the level of citrus involved.

The result moves between fourth-wall-breaking absurdity, procedural fraud investigation, grief and intense psychological collapse—often within the same paragraph.

“What even is reality, anyway? I’m a sentient cheesecake, mate.”

Frank the purple fridge in a cosmic ornate crest

Content warning

Bitter material inside.

The novella contains strong profanity, surreal graphic violence, magic mushroom use, suggestive and tactical sexual situations, and intense psychological distress and psychosis. It is not presented as a children’s book despite the cheerful dessert.

Lemons Tell No Lies banner featuring Gary, Marty and Frank

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Paperback and Kindle availability may vary by region. The link opens the Amazon UK product page.

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