The original case file

Lemons Tell No Lies

A surreal psychological comedy-thriller narrated with complete professionalism by Gary the Lemon Cheesecake.

Gary the Lemon Cheesecake

A procedural investigator follows the wrong clues for all the right reasons.

Marty Fletcher is good at spotting fraud. He reads nervous customers, catches courier scams and knows when a rehearsed story does not add up.

Then his wife leaves with their daughter, the savings disappear and the world turns sour. Lemons begin to watch. Bananas become protection. Frank the Fridge becomes Marty’s most reliable confidant. Gary, held in the kitchen for questioning, remains infuriatingly silent.

As Marty pursues a conspiracy through grief, paranoia and psychosis, the impossible logic of his lemon-haunted reality begins colliding with a very real fraud investigation.

AuthorLeslie Boyce, writing as Gary the Lemon Cheesecake
EditionFirst edition, 2025
ISBN9798275489330
Also writing asBear Ursa
“What even is reality, anyway? I’m a sentient cheesecake, mate.”
— Gary, being helpful in the prologue
Content warning: strong profanity, surreal graphic violence, magic mushroom/psilocybin use, suggestive sexual situations, intense psychological distress and psychosis. Reader discretion is advised.
Ornate Lemons Tell No Lies banner featuring Gary, Marty and Frank

Beyond the page

The Lemonverse expands.

The novella’s cast and warped logic continue through Full Duel, LTNL Chess and LTNL Survivor.

Gary the Lemon Cheesecake

A note from the narrator

Gary would like a word.

“Go read. Or don’t. I’m not your dad.”

The novella announces its tone immediately: fourth-wall-breaking absurdity on the surface, severe grief and psychological collapse underneath, and Gary floating between comic host, unreliable witness and possibly something much stranger.

Available now

Stay lemony.

Paperback and Kindle availability may vary by region. The button below opens the Amazon UK product page.